How To Help Your Tween Listen To Their Body: A Guide for Parents of Sensitive & Anxious Kids

Does your tween complain of stomachaches before school but can't tell you what's wrong? Do they push through exhaustion until they crash? Maybe they say "I don't feel good" but can't explain what that means.

If you have an anxious tween or sensitive child, you've probably heard "I don't feel good" more times than you can count but teaching them body awareness can change that.

I get it. I spent decades ignoring what my body was trying to tell me and I don't want that for your child.

Growing up, I never learnt to tune into my body. I pushed through tiredness, ignored discomfort, and dismissed my needs all because I was afraid of rejection, worried that I wouldn't be able to please others, scared that I would disrupt the peace or worst of all feeling FOMO (fear of missing out)

That pattern followed me well into my adult years and it wasn't until I was in my late 30's that I learnt to actually listen to what my body was telling me.

I learnt that when I honoured what my body needs, I could show up better for myself and for others. Ignoring my body didn't make me more capable. It just made me exhausted and unwell and I don't want that for your child. Teaching them to listen to their bodies now gives them the ability to take care of themselves before things fall apart.

Why Teaching Body Awareness Matters

When kids pay attention to their bodies, they:

Catch problems early (hunger before meltdowns, tiredness before crashes)

Understand what they're feeling and ask for help

Make better choices about what they need

Feel more confident and in control

This is especially important for anxious tweens and sensitive kids who often experience physical symptoms of stress but can't name what's happening.

It's a skill I'm still learning that I so wish someone had taught me when I was young!

Quick Start Guide

Start with these:

Ask "Where do you feel that in your body?" when they're upset

Model your own body awareness out loud

Validate physical symptoms as real information

Create one daily check-in moment

Six Ways to Help Them Start

1. Ask Body-Focused Questions

Help them identify what they're feeling physically

Instead of "How are you feeling?", try:

"Where do you feel that in your body?"

"What does your stomach/chest/head feel like?"

"Does your body feel tired, hungry, or something else?"

This teaches them to check in with physical sensations, not just thoughts.

2. Connect Feelings to Body Sensations

Build emotional awareness through body signals

When they say they're anxious or upset, ask what that feels like physically:

"When you feel anxious, what happens? Tight stomach? Fast breathing?"

"Where do you feel anger? In your chest? Your hands?"

This helps them recognise patterns. Next time their stomach tightens, they'll know "I'm anxious."

A common example is kids saying "I don't want to go to school." When asked about their body, they often say something like "My stomach feels tight." They can be anxious about something like a test or a presentation but can't name it. Once we know what's actually going on, we can help.

3. Model It Yourself

Be the example they learn from

Say your observations aloud:

"I'm getting irritable. I think I'm actually hungry."

"My neck is tight. I must be stressed."

"I need to move. I've been sitting too long."

When they see you paying attention and responding to your body, they learn it's normal and important.

4. Create Regular Check-Ins

Build it into daily routines

Simple moments throughout the day:

Before meals: "How hungry are you?"

At bedtime: "How tired is your body?"

After school: "What does your body need? Food? Rest? Movement?"

These small moments add up.

5. Validate Physical Symptoms

Recognise physical symptoms of anxiety and stress

When they mention headaches, stomach aches, or feeling "off," take it seriously.

Instead of: "You're fine, you don't have a fever."

Try: "Your body is telling you something. Has anything been worrying you? Are you tired? Hungry?"

For sensitive or anxious kids especially, physical symptoms often communicate stress or overwhelm before they have words for it.

6. Celebrate When They Notice

Build confidence through body awareness

When your tween says "I think I'm tired" or "My stomach feels nervous," that's huge.

Respond with:

"I'm so glad you noticed that!"

"What do you think your body needs?"

This reinforces that tuning in is valuable. For kids who feel "too sensitive," recognising and trusting their body's signals builds genuine confidence.

Be patient: This skill develops over time. Some days they'll tune in and some days they won't. Keep asking, modelling, and validating.

What Doesn't Help (And What to Try Instead)

When they say "I don't feel good":

Instead of: "You're fine, you don't have a fever."

You could try: "Where do you feel that? What does it feel like?"

When they're melting down:

Instead of: "Calm down right now!"

You could try: "I notice your body seems overwhelmed. What does it need?"

When they complain about something physical:

Instead of: "You're always tired/hungry/not feeling well."

You could try: "Your body is telling you something. Let's figure out what it needs."

When they notice something:

Instead of: "Okay, so what?"

You could try: "I'm so glad you noticed that! What would help right now?"

What You Might Notice as Your Tween Develops Body Awareness

As your tween learns body listening skills:

They catch needs earlier and handle them before meltdowns

They explain what's wrong more clearly ("My stomach feels anxious" vs. "I don't know")

They make better choices about rest, food, and activities

They ask for help sooner

They're kinder to themselves

They feel more confident

Body awareness is especially powerful for sensitive and anxious kids. When they understand what their body is telling them, big feelings become less scary and more manageable.

Start Simple: Building Body Awareness in Tweens

Pick one or two tips and start there:

Ask "Where do you feel that in your body?" next time they're upset

Model your own body awareness out loud

Create one daily check-in moment

I have learnt that when I honour my body and rest when I need to, notice what I'm feeling and respond, I'm not being selfish. I'm taking care of myself so I can show up fully.

That's what we're teaching the kids. That their needs matter, their body is wise, and listening to it makes them stronger, not weaker.

You want them to understand themselves better and feel more confident. Helping them tune into their body is a simple, practical way to support that.

When Your Teen Needs Extra Support

Sometimes young people need a safe place to feel seen and supported outside the home.

Through 1:1 mentoring for teens and tweens, I work with young people who feel stuck in loneliness, low self-worth, low confidence or feel anxious. We talk about friendships, confidence, anxiety, and finding their people in a way that feels supportive, not therapy-ish or preachy. Together, we focus on tools to help flip the switch on these feelings.

If you're curious to see if it's the right fit, you can book a free 15 minute Connection Call with me here. No pressure, just a friendly chat to see what it's all about.

If your teen is struggling to find their place right now, mentoring can give them the support and tools they need to reconnect with others, and with themselves.

Annabel 💛