Helping Your Teen Feel Less Anxious and More Confident — Without More Screen Time

A few weeks ago, I did the Cape to Cape hike in Western Australia with a friend. 123kms of rugged coastline, spring wildflowers, migrating whales and their calves, dolphins, a couple of snakes and a whole lot of time for the soul to reset and recharge.

We began carrying everything tent, food, water etc. but after two days of aching shoulders and sore hips, we decided that enjoying ourselves was more important that pushing our bodies. We changed plans, camped in one spot and did long day hikes instead. Much more enjoyable! Some days we walked up to 26kms through soft sand, rocky headlands, and some of the most beautiful and wild scenery I’ve ever seen.

The part that really stuck with me though, was that even though I was hiking with a friend, what filled my cup the most was the little moments of connection with total strangers along the trail. A smile, a quick chat, a few words of encouragement. There was no small talk, no awkwardness, just this instant human bond over a shared experience - the heat, the blisters, the challenge.

And it reminded me how much we all crave real connection. The kind that makes us feel seen, safe, and a part of something.

It made me think about young people today, particularly teens and tweens, and that they’re living in a world that’s more connected than ever yet so many of them are feeling more alone than ever.

The hidden cost of “always online”

Parents often say that their kids are constantly on their phone - messaging friends, gaming, watching YouTube etc. yet somehow, they still feel disconnected.

That’s because digital connection isn’t the same as real connection. It gives quick hits of dopamine but it doesn’t give the nervous system what it truly needs - eye contact, shared laughter, and genuine moments of being seen and understood.

When young people experience real-life connection, their nervous system literally calms down. It tells the body, “I’m safe. I belong.”

That sense of belonging is one of the biggest protectors against anxiety, loneliness, and low self-worth. It helps teens regulate their emotions, feel more confident, and develop resilience.

But when connection is missing, young people often retreat further into their screens to chase that “hit” of belonging that never really lands.

How parents can gently encourage more real-life connection (without forcing it)

If your teen or tween spends a lot of time online or prefers to stay home, it’s not because they don’t want connection, it’s because connection can feel hard for them. Maybe they’re shy, socially anxious, or have had experiences that made them feel left out or rejected.

Here are some gentle, realistic ways to help your young person find connection in ways that actually feel safe and enjoyable for them:

Start with shared interests, not forced friendships.
Encourage connection through something they already love like art, gaming, sport, music, animals, volunteering, or outdoor adventures. When the focus is on the activity, the social part happens naturally.

Model connection in your own life.
Teens notice how we show up in the world. Say hi to the barista, chat to the neighbour, invite a friend for a walk. When they see you engaging in small, real-life moments of connection, it normalises it for them too.

Create low-pressure opportunities to connect.
Suggest things that feel fun and relaxed - a movie night, beach walk, op shop trip, or cooking something together. Even brief, positive experiences of connection can shift how they feel about being with people.

Acknowledge their need for downtime.
For shy, sensitive, or introverted kids, connection can be draining. Encourage balance with a mix of solo time and social time so they don’t associate connection with overwhelm.

Talk about how connection feels.
After time with friends, gently ask how it felt. Did they notice feeling lighter? Happier? More relaxed? Helping them recognise those warm and fuzzy feelings makes them more likely to seek real connection again.

The bigger picture

That short chat with a stranger on the hiking trail reminded me how powerful even a few minutes of genuine human connection can be. It’s not about long, deep conversations it’s about presence. It’s about being seen and seeing others.

For our young people, especially in a world of endless scrolling and comparison, these small moments are huge.

They build confidence.
They quiet anxiety.
They whisper, “You belong. You’re worthy. You’re not alone.”

And the more we, as adults, model that kind of connection, the more they’ll naturally learn to create it too.

If your teen is struggling to connect, feeling anxious, or just not like themselves lately, they don’t have to figure it out alone.
Through my 1:1 mentoring, I help young people rebuild self-worth, calm, and confidence so they can start feeling more connected to themselves and the world around them again. If you’re curious to see if it’s the right fit, you can book a free 15 minute Connection Call with me. No pressure, just a friendly chat to see what it's all about.

Click here to book your free call.

Annabel 💛